Stride

Well, so much has happened since I last posted (lazy little hooligan that I am).   I don't even know where to begin except to say I've been making strides.  That was my "One Little Word 2011" and boy oh boy!  School is over, thank any god/dess of freedom and liberty that you like, but WE ARE FREE, and we're never going back either!  I'm really making strides trusting my own instincts and not waiting around for anyone's approval.  Got my divorce.  It was pretty anti-climactic but it set off a whirl-wind of un-dealt-with emotions.  I am a survivor of IPSA, or Intimate Partner Sexual Assault, and my husband had me so brainwashed during my marriage that I didn't really realize what had happened to me until I had to face him again.  It was like experiencing every single episode of abuse all over again, but from the perspective of a new woman who knows that it was a terrible crime.  I came to terms with what happened to me and feel that I've made some major strides towards healing from that horrifying time.  If you have questions about IPSA or think you might be a victim, please check out Aphrodite Wounded.  It is an amazing site, with real stories from real women who have experienced this sort of abuse.  
 
I have also landed a job as a Birth Assistant with my midwife!  Which is big news, because my kids aren't old enough for me to go to midwifery school yet.  This is not only a great job, but a huge stride towards one of my big life goals!  I've also made some friends and gotten involved in the local hippie/pagan community.  I finally feel like life is really going my way for the first time ever!  Better late than never, I guess.  Must be why I feel such a strong connection to Ishtar Inanna, I feel like I've walked through Hell and come out the other side with my head held high.  Happy Solstice everyone!

My Word!

        I'm a little late getting on the train, but a number of wonderful blogs I read have mentioned picking a word for 2011 rather than a resolution.  And like the lovely author of Dark Mother Goddess, I also have a massive case of demand resistance so I didn't even bother making a resolution this year.  So, I set about trying to think of the right word for me.  What do I want out of this year?  Well, the only way I can describe how I spent last year is "in flux".  So much change and arriving nowhere (how frustrating).  I finally left the most destructive relationship of my life, found a part of myself that I thought had been destroyed, and realized that I deserve better.  That's great, really, that's all great and I am thankful for the changes that occurred within me, but I need something a little more quantitative this year.  I need something I can measure.  The thing I need is to be able to say that I am moving forward with my life.  And then I heard one of my favorite songs of all time, "Break My Stride" by Matthew Wilder.  So that's my word for 2011.  Stride.  The very act of moving forward.
         Now to put the word into motion (How clever am I?).  I'm in no way accountable enough to remember to meditate on my word on a daily or even weekly basis, so I need to find a way to remind myself of it.  Getting it tattooed on my forearm is an option but I think I'll wait and see if I still like it that much next year before I do that.  So far, I have decided that I will add the song to every musical playlist I use, I will also reupholster my desktop wallpaper with the word, and I will hang little STRIDE signs all over my habitat.  And because I have an emergent reader in my life, that last idea means I'm gonna hear this word read to me till I'm willing to stride right off the edge of a cliff.  If you've got any ideas on how to incorporate my word into my consciousness, I'd love to hear them!
      Besides the above, I think I am going to begin working with Nike.  What better aspect of the divine to help me take strides than the goddess of victory and running shoes.  Sadly there is very little modern (meaning in this case, not ancient) artwork of her.  Hopefully I can find something soon, as I like very much to a visual representation of whatever deity I'm working with.
     If any of you have chosen a word, let me know!  I'm so curious to hear what the rest of you are focusing on for the coming year  and why!