Sunday, January 30, 2011

Patience and How I Don't Got Any

Okay, since this is supposedly a Witchy blog and we're coming up on Imbolc (that's a witchy holiday to you muggles) I thought I'd share my perspective on the season.  Imbolc is traditionally celebrated as a festival of the coming spring.  Ya know, the beginning of February being about the coldest time of year, it's only going to get warmer and fatter from here on out.  It's a time for purification, healing, weather divination, spring cleaning and the like.  For me, this is not a pleasant time of year.  

I know, I know, every season sheds light on an area of life and the cycles thereof.  But, I'll just come on out and tell you, winter does not agree with me.  I get cranky, depressed, refuse to leave the house except when absolutely necessary, and then I get impatient.  I hope to solve this problem with a slight change in geography at some point, but until then I guess I should learn the lesson.  This is the time when the sheep and our Mother is pregnant, about to burst with life.  I remember pregnancy.  I was impatient then too.  Oh, I wasn't unhappy like I get in cold weather, but I couldn't wait to get to the next step.  I didn't stop, breath, and enjoy pregnancy.  I sat brooding, so excited that it was a miserable wait to meet my baby. 

Imbolc comes this year to remind me not of rebirth, but of patience.  Yes, Spring will be here soon, but until then there is a season of waiting.  The theme of patience keeps popping up.  In comments from readers, in bedtime stories, in situations in my personal life.  This Imbolc, I am finally hearing the message.  It is a time of quiet preparations, a time to turn inward and plan, it is a time to wait, to actively wait with patience.  I suck at it.  But at least I'm starting to get the idea.

On another note.  My daughter turned 7 today.  So 7 years and a few hours ago, I was ushering this person into the world, into life.  What Magic it is to bring forth life?  She is turning out to be everything you could hope for in a daughter.  She has a strength in her, I can almost see the woman she will become.  Every time one of my girls has a birthday, I mourn a little, that they are growing up and away.  I try to remember the words of Khalil Gibran when he wrote on children:
       Your children are not your children.
        They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
        They come through you but not from you,
        And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.
I hope you follow the link and read the rest of this passage.  It's beautiful and wise.

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

The Simple Woman's Daybook


Outside my is cool and the earth is wet.  There is the promise of a breeze to come and warmer weather.  My willow tree appears to be dying, but I know that with the change of seasons she will return to her usual glory.  In the previous sentence 'my' means:  I'm the only person in the apartment complex who seems to notice we have such a beautiful willow spirit for a neighbor.

I am thinking...Oh how I love the night!  It simply isn't fair that we live in a diurnal world.  Hmmm...maybe one day.

I am thankful for...Winter coming to a close.  If there were a hell, it would most certainly be cold and wet!

From the learning I was faced again with my lack of patience and my need to control my environment right down to the last detail.  I'm learning to be less anal about plans.  I'm trying to learn to let go.

From the kitchen...a huge pile of dishes.  But before that there was an awesome salad, some mozzarella sticks, and two little girls helping put dinner on the table while learning their candle color correspondences. (wow, say that 3 times fast!)

I am favorite wrap around skirt that I rescued from Goodwill for...WHAT?! 4 BUCKS! THAT'S RIGHT!.  It's got a silky green bottom layer and then a gauzy white top layer with green roses.  And my brown button down shirt (cuz I was doing adult stuff today and a spaghetti strap just wouldn't cut it).  Bare feet. And an anklet that I made myself.

I am creating...a peppy playlist of massive proportions.  Incidentally, I am also creating a blogpost about said playlist as a sneaky way to get free song ideas from you ladies. 

I am stride through this year with purpose and grace. 

I am reading...blogs.  And Wynken, Blynken, & Nod.  I also read the same paragraph of whatever I'm reading repeatedly because there are these little people in my house that are strictly averse to me turning a page and will stop at nothing to prevent it!  Except, of course, in the case of the aforementioned Wynken, Blynken, & Nod.

I am hoping...that I can get into the Florida School of Traditional Midwifery in the fall.  And I hope that I decide to put it off for a year because LoverMan decides that the planets have aligned in such a way for us to have that baby we've been talking about for so long now. (fat chance, but I can dream)

I am hearing...little giggles from my bedroom where two little girls are fast asleep ;)

Around the house...cookie crumbs and candles burning.  The usual.

One of my favorite things...that hour before a real good summer storm, when the wind is blowing like crazy and you can actually FEEL the storm coming!  When I was a girl, I would climb up on the roof, spread my arms wide, and try to absorb it!  (on a side note: natural selection has started to fail, just as I surmised, because I never got struck by lightning)

A few plans for the rest of the week:  I really need to catch up with friends this week.  Specifically I need to call my Peg (aka BettyFuckingCrocker, the demigoddess).  But also K, N, the other Peg, and B.  LoverMan also would like to go out and do something, though he doesn't know what or when.  Make little cheesecakes decorated with flames for Miss Fi to take to school on Friday.  Her B-day is the 29th and she has decided that since it's so close to Imbolc she might as well drag my ass kicking and screaming out of the broom closet with her. .

Here is picture for thought I am sharing...
 My Awesome Goodwill Find!

If you would like to participate in The Simple Woman's Daybook, click this link.  You can also find the experiences of many other Simple Women from around the world!  It's a beautiful idea, leave me a link in the comments box so I can read your post.

Monday, January 24, 2011


     In fact, I'm thrilled shitless! That's right, this occasion calls for previously undiscovered joyful expletive phrases.  I have wanted some nude photographs done for a while but I had put on a bunch of weight when I was depressed and I had a husband that simply wouldn't tolerate that kind of thing, etc.  Well, over the course of the last year and a half I have lost 43 lbs (and that's not even counting the 300 lbs of asshole that I lost in the divorce!)   So I'm all pretty (and humble) and ready to have some photos taken, which I mentioned to my very fabulous lover man.  He offered to do them for me and apparently has taken a few classes and is more than capable of getting the job done.  Well, his awesomeness doesn't stop there.  He has ordered a tripod for his camera, fancy photo paper(idk the difference, personally), and is working on ordering lighting for the event.
         BUT gets better.  He has also purchased a fancy book binding that he can press the 8x11 photos into and heat and make me my very own hard cover NUDEY BOOK!  Now to time it just right.  I need to prepare.  I might even be willing to go to a nail salon and get a pedicure.  And we're gonna have to time it around my ovulation because science has proven that we ladies look our best when fertile.  I'm not sure if I want to wax down there or not.  I'm not sure what would look would be fine if they're all black and white, but hairless might look a little raunchy.  I dunno but I'm super fucking excited!  What a lucky girl I am to have such a fabulous lover.  Have any of you gals had nudes done?  It's so much easier now that you don't have to develop them yourself or take them to be developed.  Just a good photo printer and a digital camera and you're set!
         On another note, don't be surprised if the name of this blog suddenly changes...I'm not sure its right.

Sunday, January 23, 2011

My Word!

        I'm a little late getting on the train, but a number of wonderful blogs I read have mentioned picking a word for 2011 rather than a resolution.  And like the lovely author of Dark Mother Goddess, I also have a massive case of demand resistance so I didn't even bother making a resolution this year.  So, I set about trying to think of the right word for me.  What do I want out of this year?  Well, the only way I can describe how I spent last year is "in flux".  So much change and arriving nowhere (how frustrating).  I finally left the most destructive relationship of my life, found a part of myself that I thought had been destroyed, and realized that I deserve better.  That's great, really, that's all great and I am thankful for the changes that occurred within me, but I need something a little more quantitative this year.  I need something I can measure.  The thing I need is to be able to say that I am moving forward with my life.  And then I heard one of my favorite songs of all time, "Break My Stride" by Matthew Wilder.  So that's my word for 2011.  Stride.  The very act of moving forward.
         Now to put the word into motion (How clever am I?).  I'm in no way accountable enough to remember to meditate on my word on a daily or even weekly basis, so I need to find a way to remind myself of it.  Getting it tattooed on my forearm is an option but I think I'll wait and see if I still like it that much next year before I do that.  So far, I have decided that I will add the song to every musical playlist I use, I will also reupholster my desktop wallpaper with the word, and I will hang little STRIDE signs all over my habitat.  And because I have an emergent reader in my life, that last idea means I'm gonna hear this word read to me till I'm willing to stride right off the edge of a cliff.  If you've got any ideas on how to incorporate my word into my consciousness, I'd love to hear them!
      Besides the above, I think I am going to begin working with Nike.  What better aspect of the divine to help me take strides than the goddess of victory and running shoes.  Sadly there is very little modern (meaning in this case, not ancient) artwork of her.  Hopefully I can find something soon, as I like very much to a visual representation of whatever deity I'm working with.
     If any of you have chosen a word, let me know!  I'm so curious to hear what the rest of you are focusing on for the coming year  and why!